parenting tipsTag

The Autonomy of a Child

There are a few things that I think can completely rearrange the dynamic of your entire family: aggression (obviously), manipulation, passivity, inconsistency, and expecting instant gratification. This is because your child is not a computer, or a robot. Thinking that you should be able to input information and then have them immediately output the action every time is ludicrous, and it’s just asking for trouble. I swear children are on a mission to remind you, and the world,…

Listen to Your Gut

Did you know that you have a second brain? Yeah, it’s in your gut. You might feel nauseous before making a big decision; that’s your gut telling you you’re stressed. You might feel like you have a knot in your stomach after you did something you knew was wrong; that’s your gut holding you accountable. You might feel flutters when you get into a heated debate; that’s your gut reminding you that you have limits. Here’s what PsychologyToday…

How to Tell if You’re Raising an Empathetic Child

We can all agree that being able to vicariously experience someone else’s feelings is an admirable quality. It would be hard to argue that having empathy is a bad thing. Having well developed empathy is necessary in order to have a relationship, a family, children; you know, a life. The reason is because empathy helps you put yourself in someone else’s shoes. The more empathy you have the better understanding you have of what someone else is going through….

Holding Yourself Accountable is Not the Same as Beating Yourself Up

Reading even one of my blog posts you’d pick up on the fact that I hold personal responsibility as a significant virtue. If we don’t hold ourselves and our family members accountable for our actions, then our chances for having a happy healthy functioning family significantly decreases. Recently I found myself indulging in the great injustice of beating myself up instead of holding myself accountable. I say indulging because our minds trick us into thinking that this mental…

How Your Words Affect Your Actions

I’m currently working through a Nathaniel Branden book called The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem. I’ve been working through this book for a while because it is very intense work and I’m a busy mom. For those of you who don’t know, Nathaniel Branden was a prominent psychotherapist in the 1960’s. He promoted the philosophy of Ayn Rand and is known for his work on self-esteem.1 After you read Branden (and I highly suggest that you do) try reading a Rand novel,…

Finding the Balance

I am fascinated with how people deal with their children. I find myself observing parents at grocery stores, play grounds, and other places. I actually get lost like a child does when they see something that makes their wheels turn. You know when your child is doing something and you are trying to talk to them but they can’t hear a word you are saying because they are so entrenched in what they are seeing. That’s me when…

You Can’t Make Me

Four famous words uttered at least once by every kid at some point: you can’t make me. I know when I was a child this started a war between my parents and I. They were willing to use force and I was one quarter their size; of course they could make me. Every parent has the physical ability to make their child do almost anything. When you threaten a child’s well being their natural survival instincts kick in…

To the Parents Who do it All (Part 2)

I ended up doing this post in two different parts because it got way too long. The more I dug into this, the more I wrote. I’m pretty sure if I had kept it as one post it would’ve been over four thousand words, verging on five, and no one has got time for that. In case you missed it, you can find part one here. Jumping right back in from where we left off last week: You Can…

To the Parents Who Do it All (Part 1)

It has become a terrible trend to take pride in being the lazy parent. When did this happen? When I was a kid, you did not want to be the parent who didn’t, at least, try to do it all. I know that the previous generation of parents had their own set of problems, and I’ve discussed those problems. They either didn’t do some of the things I am about to rattle off or they tried to hide…

Firm and Assertive, Not Aggressive

As a peaceful parent it is important to be firm and assertive, not aggressive. I touched on this point in several other articles but I feel this point is so imperative that it deserves the attention of it’s own article. One of the main things I struggled with when transitioning into peaceful parenthood was understanding that there is a lovely balance between authoritarianism and permissiveness. Being a permissive parent would ultimately mean that you have exchanged one authority figure…