behaviorTag

How You Lose Authority When You Spank

Push back against anyone who is anti-spanking is inevitable considering a majority of parents in America still spank their children. “In 2014, according to a nationally representative survey, 76 percent of men, and 65 percent of women, 18 to 65 years old, agreed that a child sometimes needs a “good hard spanking.” This proportion has declined modestly since 1986 among women, while approval among males, after declining into the early 1990’s, has remained steady.”(1) Let me preface this…

The Importance of Virtue

This title probably sounds redundant; most people wouldn’t argue the importance of virtue. Yet, I feel like this simple premise gets lost somewhere between understanding it and living it. Especially when it comes to parenting. We tell our children not to scream, yet the majority of parents yell. We tell our children not to hit, yet the majority of parents spank.” About 94 percent of parents of children ages three to four in the United States report having…

Things Parents Should do in Front of Their Kids

Parents are the foundation of the family. Their bond created the family. The way the parents interact teaches the child how to act in their own relationships. Not just romantic relationships when the child is older, but all of them, including the one they have with you. Your child learns by absorbing the interactions of the relationships surrounding them. Most people think, `if I show them love and kindness then they will learn how to be loving and…

The Land of Misadventure

Sometimes when our children have accidents, we make the problem bigger by not handling the situation properly. We freak out, we become frustrated, and we completely disregard the fact that sometimes (a lot of times) our children learn lessons naturally, without our criticism. They know when they have made a mistake. As you have probably noticed at this point, accountability is a trend. Naturally, my point is, it teaches them personal responsibility to realize their mistakes on their own….

The Power Struggle is Real

Let me start by defining what a power struggle is. When you try to impose your will on, or decide for your child without a negotiation or a conversation taking place; and your child is refusing to let you get away with it. Do you find yourself in arguments with your child several times a day? You know, the ones that come out of nowhere and escalate way too fast? Those are power struggles. I have been thinking about how…

Stop Giving Non-Answers

Being a parent, your brain is constantly swimming in a sea of thoughts; am I doing the right thing, how can I improve, are all the bills paid, do I need anything from the store, what’s for dinner, etc. Children, being the beautiful curious creatures that they are, ask a lot of questions. This is the natural state of an intelligent human. Question asking leads to answers, which leads to knowledge. Of course, we are tired, we have…

I Was Wrong, You Were Right

Personal responsibility isn’t always easy. In fact, I would argue that it is one of the hardest things about life. It is, however, one of the most meaningful gifts you can give to your child. You, as the parent, are setting a standard of living for your child. Your actions, and non-actions, are being absorbed by your child all day. If you are unwilling to hold yourself accountable, then you can expect that your child will not to…

4, 3, 2, 1…Meltdown

Meltdowns can be extremely challenging for both the child and the parent. What most parents tend to do, usually without even realizing it, is to “meltdown” themselves. This is counterproductive and creates more stress for you and your child. We must first acknowledge that our children have meltdowns because they have seen their parents handle stress poorly. Looking rationally at a meltdown: it is simply a child unable to, reasonably, deal with the situation in front of them. Negotiation…