I Was Wrong, You Were Right
Personal responsibility isn’t always easy. In fact, I would argue that it is one of the hardest things about life. It is, however, one of the most meaningful gifts you can give to your child. You, as the parent, are setting a standard of living for your child. Your actions, and non-actions, are being absorbed by your child all day. If you are unwilling to hold yourself accountable, then you can expect that your child will not to want to take responsibility for their actions either. You cannot ask your child to do something that you yourself do not do. All rules are universal and must be met by both parent and child. Otherwise, you are being hypocritical. Once your child picks up on that, and they will, your word will no longer hold any weight.
Hypocrisy belongs no where near philosophy or parenting.
Letting your children know that it is human to be wrong is essential. The best way to do this is to admit when you are wrong. This helps them to accept when they are wrong because it is does not confine mistakes to children. If you teach your child that their mistakes are a result of their age they will feel trapped under a blanket of inevitable error. On top of that, they will lose motivation to accept and fix their mistakes. More than likely, they will lie to get out of conflict more frequently as well. By showing, not just telling, them what you expect from them you are providing them with a clear perception.
Once you start admitting fault to your wrong doings, your child will start to do the same thing. You should encourage them to admit when they are wrong, but not until you have started doing it yourself. This is my kids favorite part. “Mom, who was wrong”? They love to ask this question just to hear me say “I was wrong, you were right”. I’m pretty sure it amazes me just as much, if not more, to hear my 4 and 6 year old say the same thing.
Telling them they were right about something that a grown up was wrong about teaches them to trust their own mind. This is my favorite part. I think one of the worst vices is feeling like you cannot trust your own thoughts. When you are not able to trust your own mind it becomes difficult to navigate through life’s simple predicaments. Providing your child with the ability to navigate through their consciousness will give them an adventurous life filled with ingenuity.
Being accountable is hard but it is also one of the most empowering things I have allowed myself to experience. It has made my mind stronger and my heart more understanding. This is one of best tips I can offer for a more peaceful household. When you implement this you and your family will stop throwing blame from one person to the next. You will be able to start having real conversations and come up with real solutions to the problems in your house.